Dropping particles in casual speech

I keep trying to get every single particle perfect but it backfires. My friend said I sound like I'm reading a legal contract because my speech is so stiff. I realized that over-correcting actually makes me harder to understand. The lesson is that skipping particles in casual chats isn't being lazy it's actually being more natural. How do you guys decide which ones are safe to drop? I always worry I'll sound messy.